I'm a Christian too. Whether you call it biology, or the ultimate gift from our creator, one thing I know for sure is that we are hard wired to love each other. Another thing I know for sure is that we were charged to "be fruitful and mulitply". Right now what I think you are experiencing are extreme feelings of each. It's okay, I think it was what therapy was designed to do - evoke extreme emotion and bring to light our most basic, essential impulses.

I will continue to maintain that under these extreme conditions, these two strong forces are becoming conflated with each other. It's okay. You're human. Being human is outrageously confusing.

I understand that the non-judgemental stance of most therapies appears to be in conflict with what we are taught as Christians, but the essential tenet of each is a common vein - grace. Try to open yourself to that grace and accept it. Try to offer yourself that grace.

It's what we can give ourselves, and it is what we were promised by the kind, benevolent, understanding God of our tradition.

I really really think you should cut yourself some slack here. If you think that going outside of the church will provide you with the guidance and help that you need, then you should definitely do that I think. Grace comes in many many forms, and, as the saying goes, "God works in mysterious ways....".

I really think that you will be okay. That this is something that can be resolved and you will emerge a much wiser, better person for it.

Again, you will be okay. We were promised this in so many ways. Try to find your best way to this okay.