The way I look at therapy, now that I've been engaged with it for a few months, is that the process is like disrobing. I have slowly been taking off one piece of covering after another - sometimes quickly putting them back on when it's too chilly.

Becoming naked, metaphorically, in session I guess is the goal. At least that's what my T says, although she's never put it in those terms before. Total honesty and total revealing of our inner selves is supposed to lead to healing, self-acceptance, self-knowledge, self-growth and on and on.

But this act of becoming naked can be terrifying. It's like being on a huge stage all alone with the bright lights shining on you and being willing to strip to our bareness.

I suppose that stripping is not so terrible if what is seen beneath the clothing is beautiful and wonderful, but in my case (and not just metaphorically) what's underneath is ugly and grotesque.

Still, I carry one. Still, I continue to remove my garments, one by one. I think next week I may take off the last remnant. If I do, I will be more exposed than I ever have been before, indeed, 100% exposed. Last week, I took off the next to last piece and it was momentous. Will I be able to bear having my total nakedness seen? Will it be worth it - the terrible knowledge that someone sees me for who I am? Will this act of becoming nude bring any relief at all or will it only add to my shame?

Lots of risk but I have decided to trust my T. My life (emotional) is in her hands.