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I don't think that therapy is supposed to be about the relationship between you and your therapist. In fact I thought you were not supposed to be making it be about you and her. I see the relationship as an important part of therapy, but only to the point of enabling you to work on the real issues that brought you to therapy in the first place. My relationship with my therapist is foundational and helps me to heal and grow, but the real work is not the relationship itself.
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Tay, I'm trying to figure out how to answer you. You're right and not right at the same time! Therapy is not supposed to be about the relationship between client and T but that relationship causes all the transference to happen. So, in order to get underneath and work with what I need/want/missed in my past, I have to focus on what I feel in the present for my T. The real issues that brought me to therapy are about trying to make someone into "that one person" who can make me feel good, so it's hard to avoid talking about my T! Real issues usually have to do with relationships, don't they? I sure do explore my relationships with other people a lot in my therapy, too.
Yes, when we're doing EMDR about shame and other issues it hasn't been about my relationship with my T.
I'm not purposely "making it be about my T and me". Maybe I did that in the past. This time, it happened because I looked at her. I can't not look at her, can I? I keep my eyes closed a lot, for EMDR, but I have to interact with her sometimes!
