I feel like I am not cared for lately. I lost my cell phone twice so mom won't pay for it anymore and I have to pay for it out of my SSI check. Then i told her about my lost Orthodics. And that's coming out of my SSI check too.

I'm so upset lately. I feel unsupported and ignored and alone.

I feel abandoned and rejected.

From everyone else's perspective my mom is trying to teach me responsibility but it just upsets me more because it makes me feel like my mom doesn't want me anymore and that hurts, a lot.

I would get a job, but I can't, because SSI helps me get funding for school.

I have been struggling for 4 years and my mom knows that. It feels like she doesn't care for me anymore. I need help getting through the rest of college and grad school. If i can't get through grad school I am just going to be stuck at an entry level position. Which is unsustainable for me salary-wise.

I just think about all the bad things i've been through the past 4 years. Having to talk myself out of suicide, several times. It hurts, and I haven't told my mom about that. I've barely told anyone about that.

I feel as though all my pain gets ignored.

Today I was told to "grow up", when i cried, telling me I can't cry every time i am criticized. Then I told my mom "the next time you cry, i'll tell you to stop crying." I think she thinks that by criticizing me she is helping me. It doesn't help, it just makes me feel worse since I already have a huge guilt complex.

Everything hurts.