Hi Tomboy, First of all congratulations on being open with your mom. That was really brave of you and took a lot of courage.

Every time you tell someone it takes a little bit of the shame away so you have taken an important first step. I know it was hard. I didn't start cutting until I was 52 and I had to tell my husband and children - that was scary too. Then my therapist - took a long time till I was honest with him. So that's why I really admire you for being able to talk to your Mom. How did she react? Was she supportive?

As far as not cutting is concerned, that is a minute by minute thing sometimes. What works for one person might not work for another. I will share what works for me. Sometimes I hold ice cubes in my hands until they get really numb and actually start to hurt - this takes my mind off the need to cut. Other times I take a very, very hot shower for as long as I can stand it. Seems the extreme heat or the extreme cold are good distractors for me. Sometimes I journal - write and write and write - just get all the horrible and ugly feelings and emotions and thoughts down on paper. Sometimes I call my best friend - she's not a cutter but she is bipolar like me and she understands what it's like to feel REALLY anxious and about to explode and need to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING to not feel that way. Sometimes, and don't laugh, I hug my 100 lb golden retriever really tight. He's real lovable and loves to be hugged and will sit real still for a long time while I hug him. If you can try to think of what you're feeling and what it is you REALLY need that's causing the urge to cut, you can satisfy that urge some other way. Sometimes I need love, sometimes I need to cry, sometimes I need to get angry (I get in my car and yell at the top of my lungs or pound my pillow really hard) I know some of these things sound silly but they DO work for me. OK, I'll admit it - sometimes crunching really hard on a candy bar does it for me too

Tomboy, this habit is really hard, really really hard to stop, so just take it one day at a time, and don't beat yourself up if you fail. Just start over and tell yourself at least you tried your best. And keep posting and let us know how you're doing. There are some really great people here in PC - I know - I've gotten some great advice and some good laughs from these message boards.

Be gentle with yourself and with your body. And most of all, love yourself. You're worth it!!