Omg, that is just exactly how it felt for me too. That fog got so thick that all I could see was misery. I lived in that fog (sometimes thicker or thinner than others) for at least 25 years.

It's surprising every time I notice or realize that I'm hardly ever in that fog anymore. Once in a while it might come back, but it doesn't stay. I'm still terrified of it, because I know what it was like when the fog took over, but the fog doesn't have the power anymore.

You can beat this. Grab onto all the rays of sunshine that you can find, and feel how warm they are. I know it seems like no light can get through sometimes, but it's still there. When you go outside on a very foggy day, it's still lighter than night. Just soak up whatever sunshine you can find.

I don't know how you feel about meds. I avoided prescription meds, but did take St. John's Wort, and it worked. I don't think I could have pushed those clouds away without it. I still take it, but now I can get by for a few days without it and be okay.

Hang on. It will get better.
Rap