Oh, Squiggle. I wish some of us could be anonymous but still meet in RL I'd give you a big hug right now! I feel like I expose myself too much here, too. But it fills a need to tell, to share, to be validated for my struggles. I think it's the same for you. No one is judging you here. Hopefully, we will all stay anonymous so you don't have to worry about being embarrassed. You don't want to talk about it but you do. Or you wouldn't. I do think very strongly that you need to talk about it in person with your T or another T. That may help the need to talk so much here.