I don't know how my marriage got to this point.

We've been married nine months. Only nine months!! I'm three months pregnant with our first child. I thought that we were doing everything right... I married him because I knew he would be a spiritual leader for our family, and I knew he'd always do what God wanted for our family. I felt that I could follow him. We bought a house, we got a dog and a couple cats, and then found out we were pregnant. I was happy but my husband is.... not so happy. He quit his job without consulting me, started smoking synthetic marijuana ALL of the time, and I pretty much lost all respect and admiration I ever had for him. Then I started getting bad morning sickness, while still having to work full time to support us, and tonight I found out that he has been checking out porn behind my back, while I'm puking and sick as heck. He told me that the reason he was more interested in porn than in me was because he thinks I'm overweight and he is not attracted to me anymore. Now, I'm five three, and 130 pounds. I get that I'm not the prettiest girl at the prom anymore, but I still look pretty good next to a lot of other average women, and if he doesn't find me attractive now, what in the world is going to happen after this baby comes? How can I ever feel sexy in front of this man again? How will I ever trust him or love him again? What am I going to do?

We've been in counseling for the past three months, as well as in a marriage course at church. I get that I'm not innocent in his unhappiness. But when is enough enough? I want to leave. I am thinking about moving into our spare bedroom until the baby is born and I can figure something else out, since we're short on money and my family is 14 hours away, so I would lose my job if I moved in with them. But I'm scared of the blame I'll get from his family and him for walking away. Let alone what our church would say. I may try to meet with an elder tomorrow, but I'm so sick of feeling guilty for things other people are doing that I may end up throwing something at him if he tries to guilt me into staying. The last thing I need to hear is that I should be more sexually available so that he'll be less tempted. I call BS on that.

Someone give me some sanity, please. I'm worn out.