Hi Undertaker.

I really think the best thing you could to is talk to your current T about it, or find one you are comfortable talking to about it. I would tell you though that you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Your T is there to help you, and I can assure you, you aren't the first or the last person who'll tell her something like this. Your therapist is in the job they're in because they want to be of help. They understand that the line or work is going to come with stories like yours, and they have been trained to deal with things like this and render the best help they can.