Thanks rap, it feels a bit weierd to know that it's not just me feeling like that (even tho I know that there are others in just the same position) but it is so nice to hear from someone who has been there and has made their way thru it. I have to be on prescription meds- I am in big trouble if I come off them, and I get bloods done to make sure that everything is as it should be. Everytime I have been ready to start weaning off them something else happens and the doc puts it off. I hate taking everything I do, but I know (thru trial and ERROR!) that without them I am in a much worse place. But I will look for thhose rays of light you say are there...I know they must be, I must just have my sunglasses on or something!! But thanx again Rhapsody and Rap for your advice and care