Oh Rainbow, I like you and I haven't even been here at PC very long.

I can relate oh so much to what you have written. I'm sorry that I can't help you much. I
just am going through what you describe - the intense feelings for my T. I worry about writing about it too much, too - or just writing too much, in general. I enjoy your posts and they help me a good bit, so please keep writing. It helps me.

I have just one friend that accepts me for who I am. I stay away from most people. I have many acquaintances, but I act. I divorced my husband, because he never could support or accept me for who I was/am. I currently am dating him again, but that's not going so well.

I can't imagine anyone in life being like a T or of getting those needs met. It is such a huge ache/void.

I think it's neat that you are able to discuss what you need with your therapist. I haven't really been able to do that. I did ask her last week about the boundaries of contact outside of sessions and she wasn't very clear about it. She said call her office directly (her number), but that in the mornings she would be busy with groups, and in the afternoons, she would be doing individual sessions. On weekends, I was to call the emergency number. I asked about email and she said she doesn't check her email. So basically, she should have told me that outside contact was a no-go. Wish she just would have said that. She didn't offer any other suggestions, so I was a bit bummed.

Sorry to get off topic.

I too like hanging around the house and reading PC - especially since I'm on medical leave now.

Hang in there rainbow and keep posting.