I like you too, rainbow. I often don't reply to your threads because I have no sage advice. I too struggle with my relationship with my T, as do do many others. You're just more vocal.
And I think that by being more vocal as well as analytical, you're probably more likely to figure it out, at least sooner than some of us. I'm sorry that you're hurting. Whatever your relationship with T is, she has definitely shown she genuinely cares for you and is committed to helping you.