(((((((((((((((((((((( CM )))))))))))))))))))))

..... how do you know it will not change how awful you feel?

All those other things you mentioned, crying, journaling, etc, you did all of those alone. It's said that trauma, which happened with another person, cannot be undone unless with another person. That is **** scary and hard, but if it's true, that's yr way out. To look at it along with an Enlightened Witness.

The worst parts of that in my past still hurt yes - they will never be good memories, always cruel ones - but I have to admit that they don't have the power over me that they had; why else except that some healing has gone on. it takes time.

I'm sorry it hurts so much. Can you be brave enough to give yr T's way a try?