I am getting constant reminders of how I'm not skinny anymore. I went to my grandmother's this weekend and she said "oh, your face is filling out...it must be coming with age"! I know I've gained a few, so I don't need the reminder.

People who are supposed to be supportive in my life are giving me constant reminders that I am NOT where I want to be, in terms of how I look. I have gained, I get that. They do not know that was sick - they only know that I was skinny and that is my body type, so in their eyes, I've gained.

I hate the way I look, the way I feel, the way my body moves, the way I have to shimmy into my pants every day. Every second I am at work, I think about my ugly body fitting into these outfits that are supposed to be "professional looking" but all I feel is fat, out of place, and that I'm trying to look like a grown up, when all I really want to do is put on some sweats so noone notices that I've gained in the past year.

It's grose. I sometimes wish I didn't even have to look in the mirror to get ready in the morning.