Hello.

The dental pain was so awful this weekend that I had to stay home and in bed most of the time.

Andy stayed over during that time and we cuddled a whole lot.

he's so sweet and very very supportive of my situation. He was doing Reiki on my pain (energy channeling) It did not make it go away but it did feel good on it.

Anway, I was triggered again.

When I spend too much time in bed or at home, esp when I am with Andy, I lose reality a little, where I dissociate and once again the world seems to become an unsafe place. My social/agorphobia begins to act up again.

I am supposed to go and pick up a prescription at the pharmacy for pain pills and I feel so vulnerable. Andy left today for work and I just wanted to cling to him, while at the same time feeling repulsed by so much need.

Not to mention, he is also a survivor, abused by his sister and the things she did to him were similar to the things my aunt did to me. So we have similar s*x*al needs.

Anway, all that spinning thru my head and my agoraphobia starts again.

I feel like I am regressing. From pain (tooth) and from flashbacks and from sensitization resulting from too much time spent in my room.

Billi