I am somewhat fortunate that my brother is a therapist and deals with many people that have marital issues. Even he sees this as being quite a surreal situation but still is able to give me some advice although a little biased. The discussions I have with my wife are usually centered around our different perspectives of the relationship.
Leo, I have asked myself every question about what I could have done to make her feel more loved. Although I have great shortcomings in the area of showing outward affection, I never turned my back or showed anything but concern for her emotional issues. Unfortunately she is the kind of person who denies that mental therapy does any good at all so there were limits to what I could actually do to help her. Her strong independant personality kept her from even admitting until recently that she felt very troubled about her life. When she re-connected with her old highschool friend on Facebook, I'm sure she conveyed some of those issues. As everyone knows, it's very easy to be caring and sympathetic and say all the right things when you chat online. When he expressed his feelings for her, I'm sure she saw it as a lifeline to pull her out of her troubled state. It breaks my heart to think that he has taken advantage of someone that I care so deeply about who is in a very vulnerable place right now but all my concerns have fallen on deaf ears. In her mind, this person is going to be her savior and for her sake I hope at least he will be able to give her the things that I couldn't.