I always figured my husband would leave me eventually. I felt that he would find out that I was a worm and just walk out the door and never return. After awhile I wished he would so that the waiting would be over. Then I did something terribly bad that hurt him to the quick but he stayed. He stood beside me through it all. Imagine my surprise.

In therapy I found out that I am not innately bad. That in fact I am a pretty decent person. It was the things in my childhood that taught me that I didn't deserve love and that it could be taken away even when I thought I was being good. Quite confusing to a little girl. I had to work through those beliefs in my badness and discard them. Not an easy thing to do. I am still surprised to find out that people seem to like me.

What I am trying to say is, if your boyfriend hasn't shown any reason to doubt him and his desire to stay with you then it is time for you to dig deep and find out what it is inside you that makes you feel this way. It is hard work but worth it.
Zen

<font color=blue>that I would be good even if I did nothing, that I would be good even if I got the thumbs down, that I would be good if I got and stayed sick, that I would be good even if I gained 10 pounds-- Alanis Morissette