I know I've not posted in this particular forum before but I'm really trying to figure a few things out for myself and I could do with some advice if anyone can help
As a child, I was sharing a bed with another female family member during summer holidays. One night, she began fondling me. I was paralysed by fear, shock, etc. She proceeded to place her fingers inside of me, along with many other things. There wasn't a significant age gap between us. This happened every time I stayed at their house and continued for a long period of time until I eventually stopped staying there.
I feel disgusting. Was this abuse? What was this? I hate myself so much. I'm having panic attacks lately and finding it hard to stop thinking about it. This was about 15 years or so ago. Any input would be appreciated.