vborans - thank you for giving us more details about the situation. You sound like a solid, rational man who has given his best try. That's all any of us can do.

You don't mention if you have children together. If you don't, my advice would be to start moving on and living the life you want to have and don't get hung up about maintaining a friendship with her. That could just extend the pain, and possibly put you in a position where she might think you are the "safety net" she can return to if the new relationship doesn't work.

(If you do have children together, please let us know. Advice will be different).

Last thought - your age difference sends up flags for me. I know it works for some people, but in my experience it seems that either the younger is looking for a "parent" figure, or the elder is looking for "lost youth".

I am hoping you will understand that I have absolutely no intention of judging anyone or their choices with my comments. Just want to throw thoughts out in hopes that my comments are helpful. Many times the empathy behind our black and white written words get lost.