I was invited to a kind of gathering the other night. At first I didn't wanted to go but then I never go out of my house so I thought well maybe this would be good for me since it was between old friends.

But something happened while I was there. 2 of the ladies got in an arguement. It got out of control, they started yelling, one of the lady was hitting her fits on the table. This was so disturbing, so upsetting.

Then the other ladies turned to me for guidance because one of the lady that was fighting, I have stopped almost 3 years ago from killing herself and we all reliased that probably her medications didn't work anymore because she was really out of control. But I can't do this right now. I can't take that kind of responsibility. I am struggling very hard myself. So I just walked out of there.

Now I keep asking myself why did it upset me so much? Why couldn't I find in myself the strenght to help her? It's so stupid of me! I feel so worthless and I hate myself.

nightdream