Therapy is like architecture school for relationships. You don't just go out and build a building by yourself, it takes cooperation with others. Some of us get good "architecture degrees" from our parents and can start working immediately to build our lives with others. Some of us flunk - bad teacher, bad student, never mind who is to blame, the "course" must be taken again - with a therapist, or else we build a house of straw that blows down with the first wind.