There is this one place I have to make deliveries to that really triggers a lot of anxiety for me ... Several times I've parked in a place I know I really shouldn't (not a handicapped spot) so I don't feel trapped or hemmed in or unable to escape ... I've been confronted about it a couple of times and am too scared to say why so I've simply stated that I'll find an alternative spot ...

I'm only there long enough to run a package in and come right back out ... Usually no longer than 3 - 5 minutes ... Still, it's upset a couple of other delivery people who feel I'm being inconsiderate (which I know in my heart is true, but anxiety and panic can make people do some pretty stupid stuff) ...

At any rate, it happened again yesterday (2nd time in 9 months) and I'm having a hard time letting it go ... Not so much upset at the other person as I am at myself that I've let my "condition" cause me to make a rather poor decision again ...

Tomorrow I'm just gonna park down on the street and walk all the way up the delivery drive ... Could use the exercise anyway ... I just wish I'd quit running it over and over and over again through my head, even though I felt a little bullied and harassed ... Even though I know that I was the one who was in the wrong ...

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest ... I'm hoping it will let my runaway mind go ahead and process it in the proper light and allow me to move on without feeling all these negative emotions swirling about inside my head ...

Sincerely,
BrokenCloud


ps. Nothing is any more ridiculous than to feel righteous indignation when you're wrong (as am I in this case) ... Yet I feel it (and a whole bunch of other stuff too) nonetheless ...