Quote:
Originally Posted by pbutton
I told T some difficult stuff yesterday. This morning I found myself doubting his skill as a therapist and picking out tiny things that he's done or forgotten that have upset me.
These two actions are related. Hard stuff = run like hell. I need to stop this line of thinking. His ability to be my therapist is the same as it has always been.
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I know how this works. It's like trust starts to get wobbly when we go out on a limb. Will my T REALLY be able to support me? And besides that - I really don't like this feeling of being out on a limb.
And I even begin to suspect her motives. She tries to help by offering extra sessions. I really want the extra sessions but then I think - "oh, she's in it for the money." Man, why do I think those thoughts. I know they're not true but I guess, like you, I want an excuse to run.
Yesterday I texted her if I could have an extra session this week. That was one day after I texted her that I'd like to cancel. And this morning I texted her 'nevermind'. Well, if there's a definition of crazy, it is me.