Okay, I had a flash of insight (or not) on my way to therapy just now....

I will ONLY know that I'm done with this (round of) therapy when I decide for myself. I won't get any help from my therapist, who seems to like my weekly visits and particularly my prompt payment of full charges, out of pocket.

Every time I suggest that I'm done, T brings up another issue that might have crossed the horizon in some session. Not a large issue, perhaps, but something that could require therapeutic musing. I haven't accomplished anything for a long time now...just nattering along. I feel like I've been tapped out on this relationship for a WHILE. And for whatever reasons, T is not going to join me in any constructive "ending" process because T doesn't WANT this to end. But I do. I feel, more than anything, that my T is just phonin' it in!!!

It feels a bit ridiculous...like when you rent a movie and you realize...gee...I've seen this before, or is this is a really crummy re-make, and with Matt Damon no less!

I think I need to say...."I will not be coming here any more because I think I have accomplished a substantial amount of work and I thank you for helping me to do that."

And go.

Wow! I can smell the spring breeze in the air above the bars of the cage just typing this! Light! Music! Hours of free time and a bit of spending money!

I would like to suss out some other approaches, and I think I need to grieve the ending of this T relationship ....

I am going to begin this process in two weeks. T is gone for a while, and I think that alone gives me a way to begin to cut loose.

I wish I was the sort who could just pull a no-show, but I'm not. so I need to extract myself from this with some kind of good vibe.

Wish me luck.....

MCL