Thanks Perna. I do understand what you're saying and it helps me understand why T's pushing me so hard to make goals and plans. I still don't't really understand why it's such a bad thing and why it's 'not normal' for me to not want what I wanna do with my life or what I want out of life.

Anyway, I had another stupid dream last night. I was in church and my friend's little sister (who I know self-injured for a while) gets on and starts talking about how she had a really bad day that week and wanted to cut her finger off. I was like, what?!?! And she kept going on about how she used to self-injure and used to be suicidal (which I don't know if she ever was for real or not). But her talking about it so openly and so realisticly bothered me so bad, but I wanted to hear what she had to say. I left when she quit talking about it and started singing some song. I went and sat in the bathroom for a long time trying to get myself to just quit thinking about it.
Then I started dreaming about aliens, so I wasn't upset when I woke up like with the other dream... Lolz!