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I suppose I need to talk about this with my T even though I don't want to. I know appearance doesn't matter, like here on this forum. It doesn't matter what anyone looks like.
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I haven't seen this before sorry rainbow

I've discussed it with both T's and neither really gets it at all. For me though, my appearance does matter and gets in the way of everything, with T and with everyone else whether on or offline, seen or unseen it's still an issue that colors every relationship I have.