Thank you for that response BJ. It helps just hearing that I'm not alone! Her illness basically has made me question my reality my entire life. And you're right about grieving the person she never was, but I wanted and needed. That has been at the heart of all of my grief. I'm still grappling with that, especially after hearing from my sister that nothing has changed with my parents. Except of course, that it's like they never had a second daughter. I am living with my choice and it has made life much easier and a lot happier, but it still hurts to realize that I was never a real, separate "person" and have absolutely no power to change them because I don't really exist at all. Man, that's a big one. I didn't expect it to affect every aspect of my life.