I've been reading the SA section for a very long time now. It has given me the courage to sign up to PC and make a post in this section.

I know that most people who have gone through sexual abuse don't really remember it or it would be a patchy. Another thing is the trauma. I've read that its common to suffer from flashbacks. Or even have compulsive sexual behaviors.

My point is that I don't. I was sexually abused from 8 to 9 from a boy who was 4 years older then me. I remember most of what he did to me. I feel like, from what I don't remember is because it happened for a year and things became repetitive. But to say that what he did to me effected my life is an understatement. I've suffered so much because of him. Yet I don't experience dreams about it anymore. But I've never experienced a peaceful sleep with some sort of sedative. I've never experienced a flashback, from what I know of (maybe I don't understand the definition properly). I'm 18 and never engaged in any sexual behaviors with a guy. In a way it's strange, I have low self-esteem and think of myself as dirt yet I'm trying to 'save' the last piece of innocence I have. By doing this I feel like I'm putting myself back together.

I basically want to know that just because I don't have these symptoms would that help the process of getting better by seeing a professional go by quicker. At the moment I'm not talking to anyone about my issues and I know it would help tremendously. I've only mentioned the abuse to two of my friends and never talked about it, although I've written about it in a journal.

I'm just curious about what you guys think. Thanks for reading.