Hi everybody,
I'm a 16 year old male and a survivor of physical and verbal abuse as a child. I was severely abused until the age of 9. At that time my family shared a house with several other families and my parents were happily married. It was only after everyone had left that the abuse happened. I was homeschooled by my father but after all the adults in the house left for work, he would drag me into the basement and beat me. The adults in the house worked typical hours, like 8am to 5pm, so he would beat me several times in a day. Every day, it was "you lazy ****! Why don't you understand this!" And even when I did get all the questions right he'd beat me for not cleaning the living room properly or eating without his permission. It got to the point where he burned my arms with his cigarette and gave me huge bruises on my stomach, but I still didn't tell anybody. It was only after my parents got divorced that I told my mother what had happened. She was so supportive and understanding when I first told her.
But for some reason, recently I started having these episodes where I'd feel extreme panic or break down in tears just remembering my father. I think it's what you call being "triggered." When I told my mom this, she just shook her head and said I should be over it by now. That it's been so many years and I'm just making a big deal out of nothing.
The thing is that none of my friends know about this and I feel embarrassed telling anybody because they might think the way my mom does and think I'm oversensitive. But at the same time I really want someone to hear me out and help me with these irrational fears..does anybody else know/sympathize with what I am going through or is my mom right and am I completely stupid for still being hung up about what happened to me years ago?