Quote:
Originally Posted by MoAnamCara
Of course, logically, I do not wish to do this (cut). I don't wish to have scars, to feel as though I have no other way to cope, to feel the shame of the act.
At the same time, I don't wish to cease. It is the only thing I am in control of in my life currently. Well, in some control anyhow. It does give me a high, I suppose you could call it. The anticipation, the longing for release and then the calm.
Its all I have. Its not a daily occurrence nor is it remarkably destructive. I'd rather not, but for now it's all I can cling on to.
Does this make any sense to anyone at all?
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Hi there,yes it does make sense,and it probably will to many members on here.
As you mentioned it's all about control,I've been through the same for many years.
I had to reply as soon as I read your post.
I know what I'm about to say is easier said than done but it's the best advice I was ever given and to be honest the most logical.
Whatever you feel that you don't have control over try and work it out then get some help and support,either through friends and family or a professional if you feel those closest to you don't understand.
I do understand when you say you don't want it to cease as its something you alone can control,and it can be a release but you will end up full of scars that you have to explain (there's only so many times you can make up excuses for them,I've been there
) but now to me personally they are just reminders of bad times.
Like I say it is easier said than done to stop these thoughts or actions and the more you do it the more chance of it becoming a regular thing.
I hope I've helped a little in knowing that your not alone and that getting help now rather than later is the best way of helping yourself,it's nothing to be ashamed of.
Please take care and let me know how you get on,stay safe
Jk2833
