Hmmm... Well, I appreciate your input, but I have to say I disagree that this is the time to "cut the apron strings." I say this because I've been at this for six and a half years now. I've taken the hands off approach several times now, and it's lead to increasingly large disasters each time. Then I'm called in to extricate him and clean up the mess. If he would have his disaster then fix the problem himself I'd be okay with it. But once the disaster hits, he's in a state of utter incoherence to the point that someone sane has to step in and take over. That someone is me.

It's extremely difficult to be the parent in this kind of situation. You're constantly walking a tight rope between doing too much and doing too little. And trust me, people criticize all the time - from both sides. You're here saying I'm too involved, but I've also had people put me down for not being involved enough. I've had to grow a thick skin and make my best judgment calls.

If he were clearly mentally disabled - let's say he had an IQ of 60 - it would be a no-brainer. Needs constant help for life.

If he were clearly "normal"... again, no-brainer. Let him figure it out.

He's in that gray area where he can take care of himself to a certain extent, but he still needs assistance. If I step back now, he might soar, but frankly I've tried that several times, and experience indicates that it's far more likely that "social service" agencies will have to step in in the form of homeless shelters, the community mental health center, the state hospital, and the police. Between bouts with government workers, he'll be exploited by losers who realize he's not quite in control of his mind but he has an income they can cheat him out of. This has happened.

Ultimately I hope that my son will be completely independent of both me and the mental health system and living the life that he wants. I still think there's hope this will happen. When he moved into my home in Nov. 2010, he weighted 116 pounds (down from 148 in a matter of months). He had been tricked into giving his car away to a neighbor's bf and was also giving her a lot of his money. He was hallucinating, both visually and auditorally. He was completely delusional - living almost entirely in a fantasy world of his own making. He didn't sleep at all for the first 3 days and nights and insisted that my father's ghost was inhabiting my basement.

Now he's in control of his mind. He's handling his own money, doing his own shopping, getting himself to his own appointments, and has a car and a job. I see a great deal of hope for continued growth. BUT... we've been at this point before, only to have it all fall apart. His pdoc says he has a long road ahead of him, and I agree. I intend to do everything in my power to be sure that this time he's soundly on his feet. When he falls, he falls hard. And each time he comes away with lots of traumatic memories. He doesn't need any more trauma. He needs some success. If there's something I can do right now to minimize trauma and increase success, I'll do it.

And as to what the doctors in the hospital saw: since they had very little contact with me and lots of contact with my son - who was pretty out of it at the time - I'm assuming they were making their therapeutic recommendations based on their perceptions of him, not on any perceived inadequacies in me or my parenting. At least I hope so. It would border on malpractice to forcibly confine an adult man to a mental hospital for over a month because the doctor thought his mother was overly involved in his life.

Yes, I care about my son. Sorry. And I don't have quite the faith in "professionals" which you have. I have a good mind and a good education and very good instincts. I don't need to hand my life over to a "professional."

See my comments above about my previous attempts to do just that. Utter failure.