I know what you mean. I hate therapy, and swore I wouldn't go back because I NEVER have good experiences with it, it makes me feel bad, and it's expensive. But now I've become desperate and realized that things are getting worse in some ways, not better. I feel like I need help - if only I could find some. :/ (I've tried contacting several therapists, but with no response).

It's awful that you're in such a tight spot. I wish I could help, or at least hug you. I feel pretty alone right now, too. I'd be glad to talk with you, if you'd like.