Hi Rose,
My thoughts of encouragement are with you.
I'm having a rough day too. Here are supportive thoughts for both of us

I'm not sure if this helps at all but cleaning doesn't make me feel any better. lol. I know, that's not that funny. Sometimes when I feel really low, like right now, I continue to clean to what extent I can, very slowly. I do it to try to take my mind off things. I guess what I am trying to say is that the care/self care might have to come from somewhere else, or might have to come first because I can say that getting my kitchen somewhat clean (albeit very very slowly) doesn't really help my heart hurt less. Maybe the horse has to come before the cart anyway (the horse of self-care, therapy, meds, treating oneself kindly etc?)
Hmm. Not sure if that helps at all. Please take what you need and leave the rest... Anyway, sending supportive thoughts.