"Unmanageable" - yes, that's definitely it. I sometimes say people can't "handle" me. LOL, I feel like an animal sometimes. I'm not trying to drive them crazy or make them physically ill with stress, I'm just trying to stabilize myself. >_>; I can't think or keep things under control otherwise.

Right, the people we love the most, the people closest to us, are the ones who get the brunt of it. Unfortunately, they feel that we must hate them because of that, and there's no way to explain that you're causing them such issues BECAUSE you love them.

Aww, I'm glad. It feels good talking to you, too. Talking to you makes me realize just how much I'm holding my breath with some other people.

Here's a question for you - if someone can successfully ride out and reassure you through the delusions, distorted thinking, etc, does it start to manifest less severely? Or has no one has ever made it that far? I can calm down somewhat if someone can do that for me - if they can make me feel safe - but it never really goes away. I'm just more able to coach myself through it instead of having it bursting out all the time.