Maybe not - people I'm not close to find it inconceivable that I'm anything more than "quirky". It's clear that they can't imagine. The people I care about are always the ones who see everything I've got to offer, LOL. But you're right. When you're deeply emotionally involved with someone...SOMEBODY is going to get seriously hurt, no question. It's terrifying, but also invigorating. I only really feel alive like that, sadly. Near the edge, I guess.

I think it would definitely help. Honestly, before I met the partner that may be ditching me, I was a wreck. I was this mad, paranoid, suicidal, enraged time bomb, basically. But this person finally gave me a safe place, allowed me to really be myself, all the mess and everything. Though there were lots of rocky times, there was also that consistency and feeling of acceptance, of security. I have never, NEVER had that before. It gave me the chance to start trying to do something about myself. It gave me the chance to SEE myself through the eyes of someone I could trust. Without a doubt, I am better off now than I was when we first met. But...would it all be undone if I was abandoned by the very person who showed me what it was to feel safe?

I can't even contemplate it. It's an absolutely horrifying thought. Even trying to talk about it the other day (to someone in person) had me almost in tears, and my ability to cry is usually so suppressed that I can only cry when I'm alone or around someone I trust. I feel like I'll just come apart if that happens. I've lost so many people, but never someone like this. Sometimes I just feel like everything is so, so useless.