Quote:
Originally Posted by mcl6136
You know what? My T saw red and I recognized that....and for that reason, it is over.
Of course, I'm obsessing about the particulars of the ending here, but surely T must know that I am not returning. The last bit of the exchange went something like this:
Surely you know that I am not willing to tolerate this...I am not willing to pay for this....and then have you tell me that this is my issue because I didn't get validated enough as a child....You do know this, right?
Yes.
Good.
I'm freaked out but this, too, will pass.
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I'm trying to terminate T after I meet with the "director" to get my complete record and review it. My T in the last session threw out several shots of demeaning "observations" about me which left me aghast. She reacted out of feeling defensive, somehow...a coping skill we both worked at on the "outside" to not react when we are threatened. I was threatened because my meds were discontinued with no call back from Dr. after I reported a side effect..no nothing. No explanation, no new med, no immediate appointment!
I was angry, for sure, but not at my T. Angry I guess to be just cut off from regular meds after a 4-yr. contract. Oh, my T. did say on the phone when she called back to say "the Dr. will NOT be calling you back....you are smart..you know what to do." She did ask if I was suicidal; how nice of her? Who, off anti-depressants, ever knows when and if they will be that depressed, what they will do?
I was threatened in a very real sense because with a functional depression I had to drag through Christmas, miss seeing my daughter, until I finally got an app't. with a new doc. We still haven't found the right med for my functional depression and I'm back to square one. I'm not giving up, just moving on. When Ts and docs rear their heads of selfish manipulation or exploitation of the individual who is depressed or otherwise in need of psychiatric medications, it's just time to say, yes, this is how it is. This is how people are. Some of the most controlling psychopaths and sociopaths can lurk in the helping professions for their unsuspecting victims under the guise of "care givers."
I'm happy enough to be moving forward.
And my T took the message and really knows why...she's just protecting herself and her paycheck; I finally realized she didn't really get to the correct core issues over 4 years! 'just alot of me jabbering on and on to cope with the events of each week. She was threatened because I got very assertive and upset the balance of power. Make no mistake about it...the T holds the power. When I meet with "Director" I will refuse to pay for that session of abuse. They are only people, with credentials in psychology.
In the end, psychology didn't help me.
