Ok, Xambgii, you got that out, that was your first post, and it sounds like you really needed to get that out. Do you feel any better? It sounds like your asking for help at home and it seems no one is listening right? Am I right here? Cause I sure know what that feels like. It also sounds to me like your experiencing some anxiety and because you don't understand it, know what it means your having anxiety about your anxiety. Oh yes, I have had that as well, even went to the emergency room to be told I was having an anxiety attack and yes it does hurt.

Now, I HAVE read your message here and it does sound like your angry and struggling. I have struggled too and had all kinds of unhappy thoughts myself. And I even sat across from a couple of therapists that really didn't help much. I took a break from therapy and got worse so I tried again and now I do have a therapist and it is helping, Am I all better? No but I am gaining and learning bit by bit and I CAN eat and have some good moments.

I think you deserve to get better, can you do that on your own? No, I think you need help, someone who can perhaps change your medication and a better therapist that can sit across from you and GET YOU and HELP you. Is it going to require some effort on your part, YES. But what your doing now is not working, I have been there myself, and it **cks. And the only party I could seem to muster was a pitty party and guess what, no one wanted to come.

I think you deserve to get help, anyone that says what your saying deserves to get help. And bring that post that makes sense to you with you when you see a therapist. You need to journal like that more too.
It makes sense because you are getting it out. It makes sense to let things out and it even helps with anxiety.

((((Hugs)))))
Open Eyes