In the counseling class I took this last term at school, we had to practice allowing silences with our clients. We were to use them as deliberate responses to what the client said. So the pattern goes

Client: I went to the store today.
T: (silence)
Client: I went because I was all out of eggs and sugar and needed them for the cookies I wanted to bake.

We weren't doing it "right" if the silence followed something we said. It had to be our response to what the client said.

When I watch my taped sessions from the end of the term, it is amazing how much more silence there is than in the early sessions. I became much more comfortable with allowing silence. I let the client think and process and gave her space to say more. I didn't rush to fill gaps with my own commentary or to direct the conversation.

In my own therapy, we have silences sometimes and I am OK with them. I don't feel pressured by my T to fill them. They're there for me to use if I want. If I don't want to have a silence, all I have to do is speak. When the T allows silence, it gives the power to the client. Client can choose to sit there in the silence or can say something.