I feel alone, depressed, angry and hopeless and I dont see a possibility of me leading a happy life. I feel like every day is a struggle for me to survive. Just am fighting my unhappiness and going through the motions of yet another day.

Im 23 and alone. Ive not had a friend in 4 years. I am socially akward and I have acne which makes me not want to be around people even more since I hate how I look. Once I got to college I just sort of stopped trying to make friends with people, and I ve pretty much been a loner ever since.

In regards to my history with the opposite sex, it is also pathetic. Ive kissed a girl a handful of times, and the one time I had sex I discovered that sex might always be painful or nearly impossible for me. This has made my depression much worse, because I feel worthless and that no woman will ever want to be with me.

To be more specific I have a significant curve in my penis to the left and have had it for as long as I remember. Erections were always occasionally painful, but when I tried having sex it became so painful that I had to stop. The most pleasurable experience in life causes me pain and humiliation.

ON top of this my condition as gotten worse, to the point where an erection at the moment and for the past month is impossible for me because of the pain. I most likely have peyronie's disease which there is no real cure for. All I can do now is wait and hope it gets better by itself, which doesn't seem likely. If that happens I could try some risky surgeries that could make me unable to ahve an erection or lose all sense of feeling in my penis.

So yea, I feel like a worthless person. I fell broken and hopeless. Ive started seeing a therapist and started a group session for social anxiety, but I dont even think those will help me much when theres real physical parts of that will never be normal. How I am supposed to get over this. I am 23 but my life feels over already. Its a very likely scenario that I will never be able to have sex and I will be alone because of it. Ive been crying every night thinking about this and I find it hard to want to keep living. I wish I was dead pretty much every night so I dont have to face this pain and humiliation that is my life.

So thats my pathetic story.