I agree with Perna...what your girlfriend did before she met you has nothing to do with you...we all make mistakes, and I would hate to be judged by someone for something that is in my past. Some women think they can handle the "f-buddies" category of relationship when most cannot. They convince themselves that this is good enough and that they guy will eventually fall in love and a real relationship is possible....I've been there, and I've done that. And I do not in any way think of myself as a cheap prostitute. Maybe, you should look at the fact that before she met you, she got herself out of the situation....she stood up for herself and decided that she wanted a real relationship....and, you were the guy that she found it with.

I don't know whether you should confess to her your spying or not...I made the confession to my boyfriend that I'd seen some stuff on his computer and he was pretty much okay with it, but he's a very mellow and forgiving kind of guy.

I'm not totally sure about couples who have rules about not seeing/communicating with exes....I have quite a few ex-boyfriends that I'm still friends with and see when they come to town...I've introduced them to my b.f. and we've even hung out a bit together...I feel as if removing the mystery makes everyone more comfortable...but, every relationship is different.