Thank you for constructive replies.
Well, I understand that everybody has a past and we all made / make mistakes. Although it bothers me to know about it, I can't judge her by her past.
Whenever I'm in a relationship, I'm 100% dedicated. I close all the doors to others, don't flirt, don't look for fun, don't even look at the girls on the street. That's just me and it has always been like that. I don't have contact with my exes, no matter how we broke up (good or bad). I guess I just expect everyone to be like me.
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Originally Posted by lido78
before she met you, she got herself out of the situation....she stood up for herself and decided that she wanted a real relationship....
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Very good point lido. But the catch is, this guy has been around for 5 years or so and during these 5 years, she was in 2 serious relationships (2 and 2 years). So this guy was in the picture as an f-buddy, she starts a relationship, they stop their action, 2 years later she breaks up, he gets back in the picture. Then HE starts a relationship, they stop, and right before we started, they were both single and they were involved sexually again. So, I don't think there's a situation like "she decided that she wanted a real relationship". He's just there, probably if and when we break up, eventually she'll contact him to see what's going on. or not. I don't know. Her pattern is like a "habit" now.
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Originally Posted by lido78
I'm not totally sure about couples who have rules about not seeing/communicating with exes....I have quite a few ex-boyfriends that I'm still friends with and see when they come to town...I've introduced them to my b.f. and we've even hung out a bit together...I feel as if removing the mystery makes everyone more comfortable...but, every relationship is different.
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My other concern is, this thing wasn't really a relationship and he's not an ex. They never dated. Just slept. He was very clear to her and yet she decided to be his booty call for no matter what reason (romantic, sexual, I don't mind). I am OK with that as long as it's in her past. But it's not.
She's still fiddling with him, they have contact, and I just can't stand the fact the she hasn't learned a lesson after her past 2 relationships and didn't cut him off.
Now I am in the picture and I don't want her to be in touch with someone who treated her literally like a cheap prostitute in the past and desires her sexually and tries to hook up again at every opportunity.
And as I mentioned before, I told her that I was keeping all my options closed, not having contact with anybody from my past and I'd expect her to do so, she said no problem. That's what I asked as some respect to our relationship. But looks like she thinks that I don't know about this guy and still in touch with him.