Welcome to PC - normally my advice on fetishes is....as long as there's no danger and it doesn't affect your life/ ability to be happy...then its fine. I agree with your partner that 'fisting' can be dangerous for women or men. If you google it, wikepedia comes up but I can't post it here because of the pics. This can cause an air embolism in women, if done vaginally and internal injury anally for men or women. Are you interested in receiving or doing this to your partner?? Do you want to dress in leather or is leather involved with something else? Are you into S&M or for this purely for pleasure.

The best option is to educate yourself, because the fisting really can be dangerous and to find a therapist who understands your situation. Remember what you see in porn doesn't accurately show the down side to this. I'm sorry you were sexually assaulted as a child and recommend speaking with a therapist, as to how this relates to the fetishes. Perhaps you and your partner can spice things up without involving this and I hope you both can work this out.

*Information tidbit: even though this doesn't apply to you - if a person blows air into the vagina, this can also cause an air embolism and death.)