Quote:
Originally Posted by 23andlost
TheSilentEmpath I think a lot like you. My mind is pretty tired at the moment, so I have been skimming through this thread, but I'll go back and read it in more deatail later. "The Stranger" is one of my favorite books which I happened to read in a college class. I felt like I related so much to that main character, besides the murder part heh. It has been a year or 2 since I read that book, but I am feeling the urge to reread it. I kept the book of course. Its been awhile since I took philosophy courses, but I remember liking the existentialist way of thinking.
I myself dont really see any point to my life either. Ive felt numb and hollow and like I am just surviving for years. I dont feel like I connect with people and most of the time I dont want to be around them. Im an introvert so people drain me after awhile .Yet, occasionally I wish to be around people, but I have isolated myself so that occasional yearning for some socializing usually goes unfulfilled. I have physical problems as well that will most likely prevent me from ever keeping a relationship going either. So its extremely likely that I will be on my own and alone for my entire life. So my life surely will be quite pointless. Ill just have to work,eat,sleep and survive for no real reason. I wont be too happy but perhaps I can just stay numb and survive for some reason.
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I related quite heavily to the main character as well and even seemed to comprehend myself acting as he did when he murdered the Arabs. At some point, if logic or fear completely cease within me I believe myself completely capable of acting in such a manner. I read the book just earlier this year, in my high school AP Literature and Composition class.
"numb and hollow"
Easily relatable words, "simply surviving" seems to be all we do, and surviving without motivation or drive seems utterly pointless at times, which can make it harder. Without the ability to pursue love, or the motivation to push yourself forward, we seem perpetually stuck in such a train of thought, because even if life is meaningless, a person can still find things they enjoy.
I too am an introvert in the extreme. In personality type quizzes, I always come out as INTP or INFP, with an "I" score of 95%. I spend a vast amount of time every day alone in my room on my computer. Because I am still in school, I do still have the means of keeping up a connection with people I can go places with, in the event that I crave social interaction; I am sorry for your not being able to; I can imagine the frustration not being able to interact with others when the desire strikes would cause.
Don't assume that because of a physical condition, that you cannot find love however. Anyone who's worth catching won't be held up in the physical anyway. Having an emotional connection and common interests is of a much higher significance to a real relationship.
Try to find activities you enjoy and invest whatever time you can in them. It helps to cope the numbness and depression, mainly by distraction.