Incidently, yesterday I was pretty scared - I tried to lie down and relax and listen to some calming music, I closed my eyes and could see the outline of my brain and it was very black. I had this psychosis 10 years ago just after my son was born and was admitted to hospital for 2 weeks. I wanted to die then and did yesterday, thought about it twice. I told my husband and he has stayed with me as much as he could yesterday but had to go off to work. I am real scared. I never ever thought I would experience psychosis again in my life.