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Old Mar 08, 2012, 03:05 PM
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mcl6136 mcl6136 is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,082
Quote:
Originally Posted by skysblue View Post
Well, I don't know if you know who Bernie Madoff is. He is the master swindler of the century. And you know what - HE was well-regarded. HE charged a lot. HE was looked up to by thousands of people. HE was obviously someone to trust, people thought, because he was a billionaire. Well, it all came out in the end. He was a liar, a cheater, a fraud, a criminal.

Listen, we all go into therapy because we recognize there are some things about ourselves that need improvement or need work. And many times we enter the relationship feeling very vulnerable and very unworthy. Therapists have a lot of power. Many or most of them use their power to help their clients gain more self-worth and more self-regard. But there are others who misuse their power.

It matters not how 'difficult' we are. They're trained to help us 'difficult' people. One time I got very mad at my T. She wasn't flustered at all. She knew my anger came from fear and frustration. She calmly responded to me. I felt heard and understood. I was not criticized or made to feel flawed. She's always been in my corner. No matter how many dysfunctional behaviors I exhibit towards her, she receives them with understanding and helps guide me towards my own self-understanding.

So, it is not you!!!!!!!! It is your therapist who has screwed up royally. Imagine if we go to an MD with a physical problem. Do we blame ourselves when the MD doesn't know what the hey he is doing? No! We can easily see that it's the MD, the supposed professional in the healing arts who has messed up. We would never consider blaming ourselves. So, why go that route when it's an incompetent therapist , no matter how expensive he is. Just remember Madoff.
Oh dear. This really really resonated with me. Thank you...whew....

It is starting to get a lot clearer....as the fog of my confusion lifts.

I feel really disoriented today.

the Maddoff thing is right on. My T's big pronouncements about "clinical" experience, the well-noted reputation. ....the fact that so many of T's "patients" were therapists themselves and this was made into another very big thing.... thus even more vaunted credentials, ...the fancy office...I mean really fancy. And in the end, it was not a corner office, and I did not really feel that my therapist was ever in my corner.

And you knw what the worst part is?

I think that I would have gone back (which is my pattern, again and again, thinking things will be different) had T not said...The next appointment we will begin here. We will talk about what's going on now.

Oh no we won't. I simply can't do it. Won't do it.

So in practical terms....what do I do? I didn't actually say I won't be back.....I left without saying that. YIKES!

Do I call and just leave a voicemail?

That seems like a cowardly thing to do, but I just honestly cannot think that would be a good route. After all, I did that...because I have been down this road before...

which is why it's hard to battle the idea that it's ME....An impossible case...too crazy for any T to deal with or heal.

which is why your posts are really important to me today.

blessings,

MCL