I have my own personal take on the hospital. I'm not challenging anyone else's own experience. I am simply sharing my vantage point with you. So, there are many different types of psychiatric hospitalization with two main types that stand out: voluntary and involuntary. Having gone through both many times, I can say with confidence that voluntary is loads better. Involuntary is when you are 5150'd meaning you are either a danger to yourself or others. Now there is some wiggle room there. I have never been a danger to anyone else. There have been times when I have felt suicidal. Remember, though, that the "suicide window" is large to accommodate varying degrees of suicidality. You might feel suicidal but have some knowledge that you probably will not follow through or you might have a detailed plan worked out. Generally speaking, you will be asked if you have a plan. If you don't have a plan they may not 5150 you. If you want to go to the hospital you can be candid and say that you don't have a plan but worry you cannot keep yourself safe. That is enough info to be put on a hold (5150). Voluntary hospitalization means you agree to go to the hospital and follow their rules. You are not placed on a 5150 and held against your will. A 5150 is a 72 hour hold for evaluation but they can always decide to keep you longer or shorter, depending on their assessment. With voluntary, you can be there any number of days. In the states, most insurance companies only pay for a 3-5 day stay. With regard to hospitals, some only take involuntary and some only take voluntary. It is my experience that voluntary hospitals are nicer and more humane. You also have more rights in a voluntary hospital. For instance, some allow you to keep many of your personal effects like your phone, books, journals, art supplies, etc. In an involuntary hospital, you are stripped of most of your belongings, including bra, shoe laces, pen or pencil, etc. - anything that you can hurt yourself with. A lot of people avoid the hospital because it scares them and they are made to feel inhuman and even criminal-like. It really boils down to the hospital you go to since some are awful and others are like Club Med for the Head - nice and posh. Personally, I don't like it when I feel out of control, when others are making decisions for me, when I lack certain rights. Those hospitalizations make things worse for me. I prefer a voluntary hospital with privileges. If you are thinking you are unsafe or if you have a plan, then certainly consider hospitalization, BUT, my suggestion is, if you can, take the reigns in your hands. By this I mean do your homework and investigate the hospital options you have. You can even call different places to find out what your stay may be like. Find put ahead of time if your insurance covers both types of hospitalizations or if they only do involuntary. Then, take more control of your situation by letting the professionals you already trust know what it is you want and what you hope to gain from the hospital. I now have my therapist and pdoc trained. They pretty much let me call the shots regarding what I need. However, you may not be in the same space and I respect that. Just know that it is possible to tailor your experience a bit so that it is not so scary and out of control. Take charge if you wish and don't be afraid to tell the professionals what you want/ need. Sometimes the more control you have, the better your experience and outcome. Lastly, some insurance companies offer residential treatment like a 5 day stay in an actual house. This is less restrictive than hospitalization and may not be right for you now. Something to think about: a less restrictive setting means more rights and freedom. Another thing to consider is doing what I sometimes do, which is using the hospital as a time-out from your life. Hospitalization is NOT the end of the road, only a mere stop along the way. You are not pathetic for using services to help you feel better. It may actually open up new doors to a healthy life.
My bests!
Daze