I believe that silence in counseling can be very effective in helping to give us time to process and think about what is going on inside our heads. But I also believe that it can be very isolating and abandoning if it isn't used in a way that is very individualized. Some of us find the silence as painful. A good therapist learns what is effective and helpful for each individual person. If it is unhelpful or isolating, our therapists need to learn this through their interactions with us; she sensed on a gut level whether or not the silence is unhelpful. If it closes us down or makes us withdraw, than a silence is not a good technique for us as an individual. A good skilled therapist will recognize the difference. Personally, I think this comes with experience and intuitive understanding.