Does anyone else have issues with not knowing what you thinking, how you're feeling, what you're thinking? I've feel like this for as long as I can remember. I'm not sure if it's just a part of BPD or if it's because I've just never allowed myself to truly feel anything. I do have these intense feelings quite often but I usually don't know where they come from. Most of the time when a feeling comes that really is supposed to be there (I'm sorry if that doesn't make sense) I don't quite know what to do with it. In the past I would just cover it up with extremely unhealthy and dangerous coping mechanisms. Now that I'm trying to be a bit healthier I either cry at the drop of a hat or I just choose to ignore the feeling. I don't work through it, I just push it down and try to never bring it up again. The main problem I'm having though is when someone (usually my boyfriend) asks me what's wrong, how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking about, etc., I usually have to answer with "I don't know." He understands that I don't know but at the same time he doesn't really get that I really, truely just don't know. He'll ask me over and over what I'm thinking and each time I tell him "I'm not sure", getting irritated more each time and he does too. I just feel like there are so many things going on in my head I just can't single out one particular thing to know what it is I'm thinking.

I'm sure this is something my therapist will work with me on at some point but for now she says there are just SO many things that we need to work on so this will probably be worked on a bit later once the more dangerous aspects of my mind are a bit more under control.

So! My questions for you guys are:
-Do any of you feel this way and have a real hard time not only expressing what you're thinking or how you feel but also actually have trouble knowing yourself what's going on in your mind.
-What do you guys do to try and help yourself and others know what you're thinking or feeling. Do you have any ideas that could help me in this process until my therapist and I can really talk about it.

Thank You!