Thank you, I am so happy I posted here to find others who understand! It is very reassuring and motivating to hear from you. And thank you for the idea of calling, I do see a number for my 'district' and I will call. Now I have one more step in my plan: call AA and figure out meetings from there since the website is too confusing. You are right, I can think is hundreds of reasons, I am always even thinking of new reasons to keep drinking. I justify it in my head "why can normal people have a few beers at night and there are no problems with it? I am just having a few beers too.. but why do I feel guilty about it?" or "work was a stressor, time for a drink" etc, I am sure you've heard them all before. We couldn't bring our daughter because what will she think when she is old enough to realize "my parents used to bring me to their AA meetings" that doesn't sound good for her. I will figure that out.
Thanks again