(((((23andlost))))))

Sending you loads of hugs. I'm sorry you are struggling with these really painful issues. I can understand how depressing it all feels right now. I don't know of the condition you mention but I can only imagine how heartbreaking it feels to believe you won't ever have sex. I wonder if you've talked to your doctors/specialist about these worries? Normally they can talk to you about possibilities to make it easier. I think knowing there might be ways forward could help your social anxiety too.

Obviously I'm female so I don't share the same problem, but I can sort of relate. I have a chronic health condition which involves very sensitive muscles, high exercise intolerance and a lot of pain. A couple of months ago I had sex again with a new partner after 6 years. Without going into graphic detail, it was really painful for me. Even worse, the pain continued and led to a deterioration in health for a few weeks. I felt much the same as you do, that I'll never have sex, that particular pleasure has been denied me etc. I felt angry and bitter and sad. I still have those feelings which are compounded by the fact things might not work out with my boyfriend anyway.

What I'm trying to say is you're not alone in those feelings. I know how horrible they are. I do think getting advice might help. I've heard of people who are paralysed from waist down being able to have sex life so I hope there are possibilties for you.

At the very least, remember sex isn't all about the 'act.' It's as much about foreplay, enjoying the connection another human being, as it is about doing it. Me and my boyfriend spoke about the fact that if it was difficult we didn't have to do everything, it was just just to lay together.

I too have suffered social anxiety and it is crippling. I hope therapy helps. It has me.

Take care.